Enkâkourak takes day off, causes mayhem

The citizens of Alios woke up yesterday to a terrifying sight: the Enkâkourak, Shounn Virny, was missing. His official residence of Airiosáriven was just as it had been left the night before. No one had seen or heard him leave and no one had any clue where he could be. An extraordinary session of Parliament had been convoked on Tuesday by Leftist and Liberal MPs, but the Enkâkourak was not here to chair it; Apollo Cerwyn, Deputy Enkâkourak, declared a state of national emergency.

The exhaustive search for the lost Enkâkourak continued until about 2 pm, when his Twitter account was updated: “Having a blast in #LaPlata today. Still unable to reach @mariuvidal. We’ll see!” Attached, was a picture of Virny in front of the Municipal Building of La Plata, the capital city of Buenos Aires Province in Argentina, about 65 kilometers (40 miles) south-east of Alios.

Having a blast in #LaPlata today. Still unable to reach @mariuvidal. We’ll see! pic.twitter.com/nOtGXJB00H

— Shounn Virny (@enkakourak) 25 de enero de 2017

It was then that mayhem truly engulfed the Kingdom.

How could the Enkâkourak be so irresponsible as to take a day off, without telling anyone beforehand? And how could he willingly absent himself on the day an extraordinary session of Parliament – an especially important session, in which the Left’s constitutional reforms were going to be discussed – had been convoked? Liberals and Leftists felt personally insulted, and NNS Virny supporters found themselves unable to defend their leader.

Things didn’t become any clearer when Virny came back up at 5 pm, nonchalant and seemingly  unable to understand why everyone was angry at him. “I was just taking a day off”, he said, and mentioned attempting to get a meeting with Buenos Aires Governor María Eugenia Vidal. His excuses, needless to say, were not well received by the population.

Calls for Virny to resign were openly made by dissenters, and supporters moderately complained about the Enkâkourak’s irresponsibility. Virny, for his part, remains in his office “handling private issues”. Wednesday’s parliament meeting has been rescheduled for Friday, and it’s clear Virny cannot afford to ditch this time.