Unity Party member: “I wanted to live in Sirocco”

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Hans Starlynn

Today’s story is about a Caenia man who has publicly insulted Juclandia by screaming out loud he had ‘always wanted to live in Sirocco’. The man is Hans Starlynn, avid supporter and member of the conservative Unity Party. Opposing to the demonstrations for May Day happening in the neighbouring capital city of Salisse, Hans caught the attention of the citizens of the populated municipality of Caenia as he screamed “Juclandia and its socialists have betrayed us” and “things like this wouldn’t happen in Sirocco”. Caenia, considered the “conservative capital” of Sabia and Verona is known to have a majority of Unity Party supporters. The Lieutenant Secretary of the Municipality, Ann Stefanović, hurried to point out Sirocco does not recognize plushies as citizens, and that he was however free to leave anytime. As well, Stefanović, also a Unity Party member added that Hans was a “disgrace to the blue party”. Hans’ brothers, Wilhelm and Gerhardt apologized for their brother’s attitude, noting that he had drinked a lot last night because of Starlynn’s ongoing divorce. On the matter, Hans’ ex-wife Rosie said “I’m not surprised. He had a huge portrait of Daniel Anderson in the livingroom. It freaks me out to think about it. Those eyes…”. Starlynn will be facing charges for public disturbance.

4 responses to “Unity Party member: “I wanted to live in Sirocco”

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